Memorial Day Weekend Advisory
Something unusual has been observed in Orlando.
Over the last 72 hours, former Swan City shirts have reportedly reappeared throughout the downtown and surrounding areas. Witnesses describe sightings near Lake Eola, Mills 50, Ivanhoe Village, and at least one emotionally charged patio brunch off Park Ave.
The shirts include phrases such as:
“SWAN CITY BITCH SWAN SWAN CITY”
“CITY FREAKING BEAUTIFUL”
and other historically significant local artifacts.
Officials are urging residents to remain calm. Similarly, officials are asking any non-residents to stay away from these artifacts.
At this time, authorities believe these sightings may be connected to:
- rising summer temperatures,
- Memorial Day Weekend behavioral patterns,
- excessive spritz consumption on patios,
- and the temporary relocation of Lake Eola’s swans.
Coincidence remains unlikely. ‘To be determined’ keeps getting thrown around by officials while residents are demanding answers.
Meanwhile, additional field observations have been documented:
- Someone described a 500 sq ft apartment as “luxury resort-inspired.”
- A man in line for coffee used the phrase “this is so cheap” when describing an $11 iced cold brew.
- Three separate pool parties are currently using the same Canva flyer template for Memorial Day weekend.
- I-4 eastbound briefly achieved sentience.
- The Lake Eola geese continue operating without oversight or accountability now that the swans are leaving.
Swan City Research Division is actively monitoring the situation.
For now, Orlando residents are advised to:
- stay hydrated and use SPF,
- avoid emotional decisions in Thornton Park specifically,
- and report any additional Swan City activity immediately.
More observations being made.
SWAN CITY. RETURNING SOON.